Easter 2014

I'm so glad my mom was able to visit for Easter this year.  It has been 3 years since she has visited us and we soaked up all that precious grandma time.

Bringing in the Wash

This morning I was grumbling.  Grumbling because the clothes dryers in our building still have not been fixed.  Grumbling because laundry had to be done today.  Grumbling because Isabella has been sick and was completely out of all clean clothes.  Grumbling because I had to take all our clothes, with three kids (one slightly sick) to the laundromat two blocks away.  And, to top it off, it was raining.  (grumble, grumble)  Well, it was barely sprinkling, but, to me, it felt like a downpour.

Our trip to the laundromat looked something like this: Isabella skipping (obviously feeling better), me dragging Oliver who was crying because he wanted to sit in the stroller, Simon strapped on my back and the laundry piled high into the stroller.  At the time I was ready to cry.  But, in hindsight, I really should have stopped and taken a picture of us all walking down the street.  It was pretty amazing.  (A mama with 3 kids turns heads on the UWS.   A mama with 3 kids and pushing laundry down the street.  You would have thought I was an alien!)

But, you know what?!  We got to the laundromat and my kids had a blast!  They loved helping me with the laundry.  They loved pushing each other all around in the carts.  They loved dumping the soap in, adding money to the card, pushing the buttons.  Most of all they loved the attendant, Elizabeth, who played with them the entire time.  The kids were so happy to be at that grimy, dirty little basement laundromat.  I couldn't help but smile.  I felt so happy too.  I was so glad that I had dragged them all out, in the rain, to do laundry.  It was exactly what we needed today.  Crazy, but true.

While I was wallowing in my egocentric pity-party this morning I remembered this TED Talk.  And I was grateful that I have a washing machine (or at least access to washing machines).  I am grateful my laundry is done in 2 hours with push of a button (and several quarters).  Even if I do have to haul it two blocks.  It's so much easier than washing it all by hand.  How fortunate I am!

Last week this was our living room.  I had washed two loads before I noticed the dryers weren't working.  I was longing for a backyard, with a clothesline.

Today

Isabella told me she hopes the dryers don't get fixed for a few more weeks.  I completely understand.

Many Mini Miracles

Do you ever have those seasons in life when you are ready to make a change, do great things, resolve to be a better person?  And then the whole world seems to collapse at that same instant and your ready to throw in the towel?

You know, like, flying home from an awesome vacation, but ready to begin anew.  Get a fresh start on life back at home.  I was totally there.  We travelled home from California all day Saturday.  I was excited.  Spring was on the horizon in NYC, I was feeling refreshed and ready to get back into the swing of things...only better.  I was making those resolutions: eat healthy, run every morning, no more shows for the kids, etc.  Sunday was going to be the big day.  I was ready to plow full steam ahead and make life better.

I woke up Sunday morning in pain.  I had the worst sore throat I'd ever experienced; I was pretty certain it was strep.  I was cranky and exhausted.  I couldn't swallow anything.  It persisted.  I couldn't get in to see my doctor until Tuesday.  On Tuesday I woke up my eye was crusted shut.  Strep and pink eye??!!  Come on!

It was time to give up and give in.  I was ready to turn on the movies for the kids while I just sat like a lump on the couch and browsed pinterest.  I headed to the doctor and was there for two stinking hours with my two boys.  (I would have dropped them off at a friend's house, but I was worried they might be sick with what I have.)

What was amazing was the miracles that started to happen:

**Oliver slept the entire two hours in the stroller while at the doctors office.
**I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in years and was inspired and uplifted by her, her spirit and energy.
**I don't have strep.  Only a really bad virus that is attacking my head and throat.  I'm finally feeling better this morning.
**Ibuprofen is amazing!
**My two boys are actually both napping, at the same time, right now!  My insides almost burst with joy when Oliver zonked out watching a "moo-iee" while I cleaned up a bit this morning.

But the biggest miracle of all:

Yesterday after two grueling hours at the doctors office I came home.  I walked in the door.  The lights were on.  I was a little nervous.  It smelled a bit funny too.  And there was a strange sound coming from the kitchen.  I walked into the kitchen and instantly teared up when I saw this:

The Danby Designer Portable Dishwasher
(please excuse Oliver's silly expression:))
(and, yes, that is the actual size of our entire kitchen)

Brian came home during his lunch break (while I was at the doctor) met the delivery guys, set it up, threw the dishes in and let her run.  Isn't she beautiful!  (The funny smell was that glorious scent of a brand spankin' new appliance right out of the box.)

Maybe it is all so silly that I am so in love with this little appliance, but I am.  My heart literally goes pitter-patter when I hear her purr and swish.  (Maybe it's because I'm sick too. ;0))  

I'm sure that day will come when I will take her for granted.  When I've forgotten the many hours I stood at the tiny sink scrubbing dishes.  When beads of sweat would sting my eyes as I scrubbed dishes during the hot, humid summer.  Or when I had to stand, twisted sideways, with my hip to the sink, so I could scrub dishes when I was hugely pregnant.  But for now, and I'm sure for many months years, I will adore this little machine.  I guess my efforts to want what I have, rather that wish for more, have been fairly successful.  I didn't realize how much I really wanted one until now.*  

Brian, 

THANK YOU!!!  

You know how to win your woman's heart!

*We had  done a lot of research and almost bought this machine (used, off craigslist) a few times, but it never worked out.  And I had, in a sense, given up and just didn't think much about it the last few months.  Life demanded other things and I was content with the abundance I had.  It was a complete surprise!

My Weekend Off (aka My Husband is Awesome!)

Last weekend Brian took Isabella and Oliver up to his parents' house in Connecticut for two whole days.  Originally it was just going to be Brian and Isabella but when Oliver caught wind of what was going on he insisted on being included.  "ME!  Neti-neti-nut!"  He repeated it at least a half dozen times.  Brian wasn't sure how he would juggle two kids on the busy train.  He looked into Oliver's eyes and asked, "Will you be good?"  

Oliver met Brian's stare, "Dyes."

"Will you listen to Daddy?"

"Dyes."

"Mommy will be here at home, do you still want to go?"

"Dyes."

"Do you really, really, really want to go to Connecticut?"

"Dyes."

I've never seen my sweet, happy boy have such serious eyes.  He was committed.  With some slight hesitation Brian agreed.

My mouth said, "Are you sure?"  My heart exclaimed, "YEEHAW!!"  I couldn't believe I was going to have two whole days just me and the babe.

I seriously couldn't believe it.  It snowed most of Saturday which stopped all my plans to go out and run all over the city with just one baby.  (I miss going anywhere, anytime now that I have 3 little ones.)  Instead Simon and I took it easy.  We stayed in.  I made banana muffins.  I relaxed!!!  It was uh-mazing!

When Brian and the kids got back on Sunday I was a whole new me...or should I say, the old me was back.  I felt happy and cheerful again.  I felt renewed.  It was a wonderful break.

Thank you Brian!!!  You are amazing!!!

At Grandma & Grandpa's house.

Attitude of Gratitude: Change

Hiking in The Ramble, Central Park.

Maybe it's the beautiful fall air, maybe it's my need to begin eating healthier again, or maybe it's watching how quickly my kids are growing.  But change is definitely on my mind lately.

Specifically, I'm grateful for my ability to change.

The most amazing thing about change is I can begin now.  It's not easy.  It's actually amazingly difficult.  But it is possible.  In order to be a better person I don't need to save money, go to that party, buy that organizer, carve out more time, or anything of that sort.  The most important thing is to never procrastinate a change for the better.  I want to be a more patient mom, a more loving wife, a more compassionate friend.

I know it's possible to be better in all aspects of life.  Just one step at a time.  I can begin to change a little bit right now.  The ability to change is so powerful and a beautiful part of life.  I hope I am always choosing to change for the better.

Unique New York

I'm grateful for good subway & street performers.  When they make good music it makes this city even more fun to live in!

Attitude of Gratitude

I'm grateful for my ergo carrier.  I've carried each of my babies in it for a good portion of their baby-hood.  My busy, active life in New York City is possible (and enjoyable) because of my ergo.  It is worn, tattered, and quite faded, but I still use it almost every day.  If it isn't strapped on me, it is stashed in the stroller.  I love it!

I'm about 5 months pregnant with Simon and comfortably carrying Oliver...in Maine.

Isabella (age 3 1/2) asleep on Brian's back in Savannah.

I wish I had asked a stranger to take my photo while travelling all over the western U.S. last September.  I was 7 months pregnant with Simon, carried Oliver (16 mos) on my back in the ergo, pushed Isabella 4 years old in the stroller, and I pulled 2 suitcases with 2 car seats attached.  It was quite amazing.

If there is ever a disaster in NYC and I have to get us out without the use of the stroller I've already figured that out: Simon on the front in the moby (thank you Kristen), Oliver on my back in the ergo, and (if completely necessary) Isabella on my hip.

I love that whenever I strap on the ergo Oliver asks to ride in it.  I love carrying my babies!

When life gives you rain...

make rainbows!

I think yesterday was the first day in the last two weeks that it didn't rain.  We decided we needed some rainbows to celebrate the sunshine.

I can usually commiserate with others over such gloomy weather.  But I've actually enjoyed the rain these last couple of weeks.  Some reasons I'm grateful for the rain:

1. We had relief from our seasonal allergies (Isabella and I).
2. There wasn't a desperate to be outside as much as possible and therefore we were on schedule.  Something my little Oliver needs.
3. It is so amazingly green!!!  I love it!  As we were walking down our street today Isabella asked, "Is this Georgia?" (meaning Savannah) "It is so beautiful, just like Georgia!"

Happiness is...

Today, happiness is:

sleeping 4 hours straight

wrestling an active giggling (almost) 2 year old boy

being able to witness my baby grow and develop every step of the way

beautiful sunshine after endless days of rain!

an overly perceptive 4 year old who keeps me on my toes

spending time in the tiniest, most beautiful backyard 

Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you." Lao Tzu

Attitude of Gratitude

I am beyond grateful for the abundance of sleep I got last night.  Only one brief nursing from 10pm-6am.  Yes!  Life is wonderful!

Attitude of Gratitude

I am grateful for the support of my friends and family.  After posting some of my challenges last week several friends and family members called and e-mailed offering empathy, encouragement, and tenderness. It touched me deeply.

"We love you!"  

"Your doing great!"  

"I've been there.  I know it is so hard."  

"How can I help?"  

"I can watch your kids Wednesday.  Bring them over!"

THANK YOU!!!

Thank you for being my light when I was in darkness.

*I have very few photos of friends.  So, friends, you will be photographed soon!

Attitude of Semi-Gratitude

This post could also titled Finding the Silver Lining or Looking on the Bright Side.

I've been in a funk again.  Life feels hard.  I know I am so blessed and my life is really amazing and these challenges are all just part of the adventure.  But when I don't sleep, I have a really hard time being positive.  In the last two weeks I haven't slept. (I think it's been two weeks, but I can't really remember.) Simon's eczema has been pretty nasty.  All night he squirms out of his tight swaddles and rubs his cheeks raw with his sock covered hands.  All night I re-swaddle him again and again and hold his hands down.

In my sleepless state I tend to focus on all that is wrong.  But I am working on being grateful!!!  

So here are a few of things I'm grateful for in the midst of the challenges:

(photos not intended to correspond with text, just enjoy)

• Caring friends and family who have dealt with eczema and have offered their advice. Per their advice, I've eliminated dairy from my diet.  I haven't seen a drastic improvement in Simon's skin yet (that could take almost a month to get out of both our systems), but...
• Simon is no longer stuffed up (he snorted like a piggie most of his life), he spits up very little, and he rarely has gas pain anymore.  I attribute this to no dairy!

• Oliver's skin is looking fantastic.  He has also suffered from eczema all winter.  He is no longer eating dairy as well. 
• I'm finally loosing a bit of baby fat.  Thanks to not eating dairy!

• I slept a solid 4 hours last night.  Midnight until 4:00am was awesome.  I dozed off again and at 4:30 was pulled out of a deep dream to clean up vomit from a sick little girl.  
• Hardwood floors that really needed a good mop.  And bedding that really needed to be washed anyway.  Those dust bunnies behind the headboard were getting out of control.  Nothing like a little vomit to motivate a deep clean.  
• An absolutely amazing husband.  He wrangled three tired kids at 4:30am while I slowly cleaned.

• A clean kitchen every morning.  I'm not a very good housekeeper.  If I have a bit of free time I choose to sleep, not clean.  I got into the habit of falling asleep as soon as the kids were in bed, instead of cleaning the post dinner messes in the kitchen.  One morning a few weeks ago I was greeted by a cockroach.  That was enough to adjust my priorities (right after calling the exterminator).  It is so nice to wake up to a clean kitchen!

• A happy husband.  He is really enjoying his new job.  I rarely see him anymore because he's working so hard.  I love the little time we spend together.  He's at peace and happy.  That feels so good!

• My boys are taking awesome naps.  Lately, Simon naps 8:30am-11:30am.  Then Oliver naps 12noon-3pm.  That means we are inside until 3:30pm on these most beautiful spring days, which has been hard.  But nice naps are really, really fabulous.

Attitude of Gratitute

I recently read how simple play activities help prepare kids for their
future. For example, play-dough. While forming and shaping play-dough
kids are strengthening their finger muscles and overall dexterity.
Those same muscles will be used to hold a pencil and write when that
time comes. Thus play-dough now helps with future writing skills.

I'm grateful for simple playtime and how rewarding it is; in so many ways.

Attitude of Gratitude

I'm grateful I can throw a bunch of veggies, fruit and dairy into my
blender and call it dinner. Oliver is on his 2nd glassful with a side
of whole wheat bread. Easy, guilt free, after church dinner, that the
kids enjoy, is priceless.

(today's batch: spinach, carrots, cucumber, tons of bananas, milk,
plain yogurt, whey protein, and a tablespoon of orange juice
concentrate.)

Attitude of Gratitude

January 2010*

I am grateful for tourists. 

No, not because they walk so slow and take up the entire sidewalk.  No, not because they come in droves and block every turnstile to get onto the subway.  And, no, not because they talk really loud on a full train about how rude New Yorkers are.

Why do I love tourists?!  Because they remind me how amazingly wonderful this city is.  They walk slowly, looking up, gazing at all the great sites and huge buildings.  There is a bit of innocence, reverence, awe that they study their maps, check their guide books and are too scared to ask anyone for help.  They get completely confused by the subway system.  They view the city through a camera lens because it is such a photogenic city.

As I see these annoying enthralled tourists enjoying the city (and all its awesomeness) I remember.  I remember my innocence.  The way my heart would beat faster and my senses awaken every morning when I would step outside my apartment building.  I remember how every neighborhood, street, and corner held new treasures.  How I studied subway and bus maps daily.  And snapped mental photos of cabbies fighting in busy intersections.  And how I was in awe of tiny grocery stores with merchandise stacked perfectly to the ceiling.

I love New York City and I'm so glad the tourists remind me how awesome it is to live here!

*Something I can't quite comprehend is that New York City is completely normal to my kids.  This is their life, their home, the only way they have lived.

Attitude of Gratitude

I have the best friends ever!  Last Wednesday I turned 33.  We had celebrated my birthday the weekend before while in Connecticut.  When my actual birthday came and it was kind of a blah day.  The kids hadn't slept much for the last several days and I was completely tuckered out.  One amazing friend invited me and the kids over to her home for a delicious birthday brunch and made me cry with her sweet praise.  Another amazing friend stopped by unexpectedly and dropped off some delicious birthday cookies and a much needed hug.  Then another (yes, another!) amazing friend and two of her adorable children stopped by after dinner with an awesome birthday cake.  I was already in my p.j.s and not looking too hot, but they brought tears of joy to my eyes and much needed cheer into my home.

I have so many other stories of such sweet friends weaving their love and compassion into my life.  I love all of you amazing, wonderful women!   You strengthen me, uplift me, and make me laugh so hard.

I am forever grateful for my amazing friends!

Attitude of Gratitude

I'm so happy that this little boy is all mine. My heart jumps every
time his eyes twinkle as he sweetly smiles. He is a dream come true!

Attitude of Gratitude

Isabella: 8 months

I have to confess: I haven't been very grateful lately.  The goal of documenting things I'm grateful for was to help me cultivate a more positive attitude in my daily life.  But during the last week or so my thoughts have been, "I'm grateful February is finally half over." or "I'm grateful Oliver peed on the wood floor instead of the carpet." or "I'm grateful I didn't yell again today!"  Not the most positive thoughts, I know.  But that's where I was.  A small pity party for sure.

Fortunately, I seem to be out of that rut and moving forward.  Thank heaven's.

Yesterday as I was doing the dishes I was bemoaning the fact that our hot water is scalding hot.  Even with dish gloves on it can burn!  (It only takes a minute to get that water to boil!  Crazy, I know!)  I stopped myself from that downward spiral of negativity.  "What?!  I'm complaining that all I have to do is twist a faucet and clean, hot water pours into a sink?!"

That took me on an upward spiral of positive thoughts.  Reminding myself that I am so extremely wealthy and live in luxury.  I am one of the wealthiest people in the world.  I have all my needs and wants met.  I have an abundance of good food, warmth, education, health, freedom, etc.  I am SO blessed!  So fortunate!  So rich!

Today, I'm grateful for clean dishes and positive thoughts!

Amazing Women!

In 2010 a total of 18 babies were born in our congregation at church.  Each family received 14 days of delicious, homemade meals delivered by foot, bus, subway, etc. by other members of the congregation.  That makes a total of 252 meals delivered last year.

These women are amazing and I'm so grateful I have the opportunity to share this bit of my life with them.  Thirteen of the 18 are pictured in order of baby birth, oldest to youngest; boys in the back, girls in front.

Simply beautiful!

Attitude of Gratitude

I am so grateful for my children's imaginations. I love that boxes are
quickly transformed into props for any possible scenario: cars, train,
swimming pools, and beds within a short time.

These sweet little ones fill my life with light, joy, and so much
creativity. I love it!